Insights

Finding my Way into Spring

2010-03-01T22:37:45Z

Spring is the time of birth, flowers blooming, animals birthing and mother nature opening herself up to the warmth of the season. But when you are in grief, it is so hard to feel the joy of this season. Spring has always been difficult for me. It was on a warm, June morning when I heard the cries of agony from my mother telling me my brother was dead. Then many years later, as I tried to find my way back into the joys of spring, my father died shortly after Easter. Spring triggers mournful memories for me. Now I understand that entering into the afterlife is a time of joy. I look upon the dates of their deaths as times of birth, a birth into their heavenly home. I use this time to light a candle and sit in a special meditation to reconnect with my brother and father. I know that walking my path on earth must continue longer, but one day it will be my time to cross over, and we will all be together again. But for now let the seasons be your teachers. Allow yourself to embrace the birth of spring yet find acceptance for the endings of fall. As we watch the cycle of life, we must accepts its impermanence. Stay in the moment and take pleasure in each day, to fully live life, so one day at your time of death your soul can transition into spirit with peace. -Marianne

Forgiveness

2008-03-10T00:42:36Z

Dear Marianne, My son and his friend were out driving around town. They were both new drivers. My son was in the passenger seat, and his friend was driving. I was told his friend was driving carelessly. The car crashed, and my son died. I have such anger toward the young man who lived. At times, the anger is stronger than the grief. I had a reading with you, and you told me that my son wants me to forgive his friend. I want to forgive him; I just can't. -Don C. Dear Don, I know it is hard. But when one dies, he does not look at life's situations as being unfair. To a spirit, the ending of a physical life is viewed as the way it was supposed to be. The problem here is that you are not able to grieve because the anger has filled your heart and overshadowed the grief. Try each day to send forgiveness to the young man who was driving the car, and you will start to feel peace. Love and Peace, -Marianne I know forgiveness is hard when someone hurts you and brings you intolerable pain. Recently in the news I saw a story I want to share with you. The story was in the Allentown, Pennsylvania, The Morning Call. Dennis Gumbs was 15 years old when he threw an 18-pound chunk of ice off an overpass and killed Elaine Cowell. Dennis will be released from a juvenile facility this spring when he turns 20. He was asked to face Cowell's family at a hearing on February 27, 2008. He looked her family in the eyes and said, "I am sorry for what I did 5 years ago. I brought pain to your family because of my selfish acts. I did not think of what could happen." Cowell's husband replied, "I need to forgive you because I can't have that bitterness in my heart. I hope you use the rest of your life to do good and to be a blessing to society." That was powerful. It must have taken Mr. Cowell many years to work up to that place of forgiveness within himself.

Transforming Grief

2008-01-21T16:59:49Z

We are entering the year 2008 in the midst of turmoil. War, violence, global warming, the soaring costs of gas and food. The insecurities of life have become so commonplace that many people have become desensitized to them and walk through life in a self-induced haze. Those of us who have lost a loved one develop a different kind of sensitivity that I feel is an awakening of all the dimensions around us. We cannot ignore the pain of others or deny the situations around us. The truth is: We are all ONE. We have chosen to incarnate and come here at this time of discontent in order to grow. Among the many ways we can choose to grow is to study our own spirituality and find our strengths and weaknesses. My clients tell me that after losing a loved one their strengths are challenged and it is a struggle to get through each day. However, it is important at this time, as you embrace your grief, to be aware of the terrible conditions and the pain of your planet. I spend a great deal of time teaching my clients to find the gifts of life. I believe there is the gift of learning in everything we experience, whether the experience is good or bad. It is hard for me to find this gift while reflecting on the death of a loved one. Does death make you stronger? Well, I can think of other ways to become strong. Does death make you more compassionate? I can also think of other ways to become compassionate. But what I have learned is that the pain of death makes you look more deeply into the situations around you. Having a new car, a new piece of jewelry or the biggest flat-screen TV on the block means nothing to you now. Material things have little importance in your life; what is now important is to get through each day in peace. As you open up to this awareness, it helps to ease your burden by sending healing energy into your own heart and to the hearts of others who are also suffering. If we can take our feelings of compassion and extend them out to the world, asking for all to be in peace, we can transform our grief. I know it is difficult to reach out, but as you focus on others who are suffering, your pain can transform into a universal consciousness that will heal our planet and those on it. A reader writes: Dear Marianne, Since my husband died, I feel deep sadness. How do I face the New Year with this sadness? -Joyce Westly Dear Joyce, Try to change your focus, send healing into your heart and then out into the hearts of others who are also suffering deeply. Try to stay in the moment, knowing that one day you and your husband will be together. For now, getting through each day as well as you can and fulfilling life's purpose will bring you closer to your husband. -Marianne

How to Cope with the Holidays

2007-12-18T01:12:01Z

My Dear Friends, I am writing at a time of the year that I know is very difficult to most. I have received many letters asking me how to get through the holiday season. It is a time when friends and family traditionally spend time together and show each other how much they are loved. They give gifts, share meals and tell stories. What I find different about those of you who are in grief is that you don't need a holiday to share your love and tell your stories. Every moment of your day, the love and memories of your loved one who has crossed over echo loudly in your heart. But still your loved ones here on Earth do need these celebrations. So it is expected of you to celebrate these holidays even though you may feel overwhelmed and sad. Try to take every chance you can to tell those you love how special they are to you. They are also suffering grief and may even have fears of losing you. Even though the holidays may be difficult, remember your loved one's spirit enjoys seeing all the people he or she cares for sharing their love. For those of you who are ready to push forward this holiday season, take those who are close to you and let them know how much you love them. If you are not ready to face this holiday, that's ok. Maybe you will want to try to reach beyond the sadness so you can feel your loved one's spirit hold you during your solitude. The spirits on the other side are instructing me to tell you to share their stories of laughter this holiday season. For the parents whose child has died, hold each other and feel your child's presence around you. For the child whose parent has died, close your eyes and feel your parent's love. For the wife or husband whose spouse has died, hold the family with strength. For those who are alone, know that your loved ones send their love down to you, knowing that when your journey on Earth is done, they will reach down to take you home. For you who have the courage to teach spiritual laws, tell those around you that death may be the end of a life but not the end of your relationship. Let your loved one's spirit see a smile touch your lips when you share the stories that made him or her so special. I have a client, Lauren, whose young daughter, her only child, died. After four years of grief, she found an organization for children who do not have parents. Lauren spent that Christmas there making those children happy. Her husband was very dissatisfied by her decision but Lauren told me it was better than sitting home. I recently spoke to Lauren, and she is doing better dealing with her grief. This will be her sixth Christmas with this organization. To her surprise, her husband informed her that he will join her this year. Lauren has told me that when she sees smiles lighting up the faces of these children, she knows her daughter is smiling down on her. She also told me she has committed to other days besides Christmas. Instead of trying to fit in the old tradition of her family's holiday routine while trying to pretend everything was all right without her daughter, Lauren changed her holiday routine and did something she wanted to do. At first your family may not agree, but what is important is that you find something that makes you happy. The most important thing is to know your loved one is not far away and that it is not the holiday that he or she will recognize from the other side but the love that is being shared. Remember a holiday is man-made but the love, the giving and the sharing that these holidays represent is everyday. When we experience the impermanence that death teaches us, life becomes so precious that we don't need a holiday to love. Love and Peace, Marianne

Introduction to Insights

2007-06-09T19:37:17Z

Dear Readers,
I have created Insights as a vehicle to answer your questions on afterlife communication. My intent is to bring you comfort and even hope. Each month, I will explore a different topic pertaining to afterlife communication. Please contact me with your questions and inspirational stories. Be patient if you do not see your question or story published right away; it will be chosen in relationship to the current topic.

When you are in grief, you feel so alone. But the loneliness you feel is your physical body trying to accept the devastation you have just experienced.

What I hope you can learn to accept is that the loneliness you feel is real but the fact that your loved one is gone is an illusion. As many spiritual teachers have said, "you are a spirit having a human experience, not a human having a spiritual experience." Your spirit is having an experience of loneliness but the reality to your spirit is that it is still in oneness with your loved one's spirit.

When the physical body dies, the spirit moves into other dimensions. During its ascension into heaven, the spirit stops at a dimension of rest. Throughout the time of rest, the spirit may or may not be able to check on its loved ones on Earth. During this time, the bond you share with your loved one has not been broken. You may feel an absence but when the rest period is over, your loved one's spirit will communicate with you in many different ways.

Meditate, listen, and be open to the signs, and you will be divinely surprised.

Love and Peace,
Marianne

Dear Marianne,
My husband died three months ago, and my life has been so empty. I feel totally alone. I read your book, and I am trying to do the meditations so I can feel his presence. I try and try but feel nothing. The grief is stronger than the belief that he is watching over me. How can I feel his presence and know it is really he?

Sandra

Dear Sandra,
The first thing I would like to tell you is please take some time to embrace your grief. When the grief is stronger than the belief, it is harder for your husband to make himself known. Allow yourself to cry. Allow yourself to find acceptance that your life has severely changed, and the change you have experienced was totally against your wishes. Give yourself time, be gentle with yourself, and forgive yourself. As this process unfolds, your belief will become stronger than the grief. Then you will be able to see the signs your husband is sending you.

Just keep remembering he is not gone. You have not lost your husband. Death is truly a transformation of the soul going back home. Life on earth in the physical body is only a temporary experience. In its natural state, the spirit is free from the body.

Sandra, I know this is a difficult time, but I know if you search hard you can make it through and even find wisdom in this painful experience.

I am now going to share words of inspiration I have received from other clients.

Love and Peace,
Marianne

Dear Marianne,
It has been one year since my son died in an accident. I thought he was gone forever. I have worked hard on allowing myself to grieve. I attended your workshop, and I kept reading the positive intentions you handed out at the workshop. The days became easier for me to face. I then started to see signs from my son.

First it was songs on the radio. My son liked a specific type of music that is not commonly aired. Then his beeper would go off with no number attached. But the most important thing I did was listen to what you said and I believed it was he, and I felt much warmth and love.

Thank you.
Donna Vaccaro

Dear Marianne,
I just want to thank you. I was once a skeptic, but now that I've allowed myself to believe, I know my wife is watching over me.

I fall asleep in the chair in front of the television and wake up with the television turned off. She turned off the TV when she was alive and she is still turning it off.

Thank you.
Ben Fargo

Mission Statement

2006-10-16T00:13:56Z

A new issue of Insights is posted each month. Insights is a question and answer page to help those who want to understand more about death and dying. It is a teaching page. It is here to coach those in grief. To help those in the darkness of sorrow find a place of understanding and a way to live again. Insights is written by Marianne Michaels, a respected medium and the author of the book A Second Chance to Say Goodbye. Please send any questions you may have. Your questions will be answered in an upcoming issue. Visit Marianne's web site at www.mariannemichaels.com.