Dear Marianne,
My son and his friend were out driving around town. They were both new drivers. My son was in the passenger seat, and his friend was driving. I was told his friend was driving carelessly. The car crashed, and my son died. I have such anger toward the young man who lived. At times, the anger is stronger than the grief. I had a reading with you, and you told me that my son wants me to forgive his friend. I want to forgive him; I just can't.
-Don C.
Dear Don,
I know it is hard. But when one dies, he does not look at life's situations as being unfair. To a spirit, the ending of a physical life is viewed as the way it was supposed to be. The problem here is that you are not able to grieve because the anger has filled your heart and overshadowed the grief. Try each day to send forgiveness to the young man who was driving the car, and you will start to feel peace.
Love and Peace,
-Marianne
I know forgiveness is hard when someone hurts you and brings you intolerable pain. Recently in the news I saw a story I want to share with you.
The story was in the Allentown, Pennsylvania, The Morning Call. Dennis Gumbs was 15 years old when he threw an 18-pound chunk of ice off an overpass and killed Elaine Cowell. Dennis will be released from a juvenile facility this spring when he turns 20. He was asked to face Cowell's family at a hearing on February 27, 2008. He looked her family in the eyes and said, "I am sorry for what I did 5 years ago. I brought pain to your family because of my selfish acts. I did not think of what could happen." Cowell's husband replied, "I need to forgive you because I can't have that bitterness in my heart. I hope you use the rest of your life to do good and to be a blessing to society."
That was powerful. It must have taken Mr. Cowell many years to work up to that place of forgiveness within himself.
Comments (2)
Marianne,
I had readings from you, after my son died from the DUI crash caused by his friend. It did not cause me to be forgiving, because I already was, but it is hard for my husband to forgive. I know, in time, he may, but if not, then when he passes over, when it is his time.
All that I can say, to those who cannot forgive is, that it takes a toll on YOU. It is much easier to forgive. It is like a weight from your shoulders. I cannot carry anger at someone, for long, because it is too heavy a burden.
I can understand why. Maybe holding onto that anger is a way to not let go, or maybe that it feels like giving up on the one who passed, by forgiving, but there is no hate on the other side, only love, and they have already forgiven us for anything that we have done.
My heart and prayers to all who have suffered as I have. I have been where you are.
Posted by Janet L | November 13, 2010 12:53 AM
Posted on November 13, 2010 00:53
Dear Janet,
I remember you well. I am so glad that you still feel the same way. I know the forgiveness didn't come easy, you worked hard through all your pain to get to this point. I know what was even harder was watching you husband suffer. Your are an exceptional person, I think of you as an inspiration to others.
Posted by -Marianne | November 16, 2010 11:02 PM
Posted on November 16, 2010 23:02