Dear Marianne,
My son and his friend were out driving around town. They were both new drivers. My son was in the passenger seat, and his friend was driving. I was told his friend was driving carelessly. The car crashed, and my son died. I have such anger toward the young man who lived. At times, the anger is stronger than the grief. I had a reading with you, and you told me that my son wants me to forgive his friend. I want to forgive him; I just can't.
-Don C.
Dear Don,
I know it is hard. But when one dies, he does not look at life's situations as being unfair. To a spirit, the ending of a physical life is viewed as the way it was supposed to be. The problem here is that you are not able to grieve because the anger has filled your heart and overshadowed the grief. Try each day to send forgiveness to the young man who was driving the car, and you will start to feel peace.
Love and Peace,
-Marianne
I know forgiveness is hard when someone hurts you and brings you intolerable pain. Recently in the news I saw a story I want to share with you.
The story was in the Allentown, Pennsylvania, The Morning Call. Dennis Gumbs was 15 years old when he threw an 18-pound chunk of ice off an overpass and killed Elaine Cowell. Dennis will be released from a juvenile facility this spring when he turns 20. He was asked to face Cowell's family at a hearing on February 27, 2008. He looked her family in the eyes and said, "I am sorry for what I did 5 years ago. I brought pain to your family because of my selfish acts. I did not think of what could happen." Cowell's husband replied, "I need to forgive you because I can't have that bitterness in my heart. I hope you use the rest of your life to do good and to be a blessing to society."
That was powerful. It must have taken Mr. Cowell many years to work up to that place of forgiveness within himself.